How I ended up Single, Unemployed struggling with PTSD.
And how I overcame it to become a Certified Life Coach and happily married.
If you prefer to read, scroll below for more details.
Youngest of three.
I was born in Portugal to a humble family, in a small village 30 min. outside of Porto. As the youngest in the family I grew up used to not being heard or taken into account, not in a bad or abusive way, but who cares what the “kid” has to say right? Not to mention the “normal” bullying imposed by older siblings. Nonetheless, I had what one may call a fairly “normal” and loving childhood, surrounded by a big family who was always there for each other. Nothing that could predict my later pitfall into narcissistic abuse.
From the village to the world.
Since a young age, I was passionate about Communication, started studying Journalism in high school, and then proceeded to do a bachelor’s in Communication Sciences with a specialization in PR. It was during my bachelor’s that I had my first international experience moving to Istanbul, Turkey as part of the Erasmus program, from where I had the chance to travel through Syria and Jordan at the age of 19. Then I met my ex-husband, a kind Turkish man of Islamic background who later moved with me to Portugal, and in 2012, together, we moved to Germany. It was in Hamburg that my international career took off, having worked for the past 10 years in international sales and marketing I had the opportunity to travel to more than 30 countries worldwide and learn a lot about different cultures and experiences. And even though from the outside my life looked more than perfect, something in me felt like I needed more. In 2015 I joined the first self-development program, a 3 days weekend in London that opened my path to coaching and to a life of self-discovery. The same week I asked for a divorced and went on a journey to find out who I really was and started over alone at age 26. I am still very thankful to my Ex-husband who despite the pain was very supportive of my motives and selflessly allowed me the way. You can learn more about this journey on my blog, watch my “No Fear” talk here.
When prince charming turns into a frog
Couple of years later, in the midst of my self-discovery journey, I met who I thought was prince charming. But let me first tell you about this picture. I remember this day like it was yesterday. I was at a Yoga festival with my girlfriends, he and I had just, once again, broken up. As the festival went on my anxiety started to rise, I left in the middle of a yoga session, and left my friends behind with the excuse that Yoga isn’t for me. The truth is, I was on the verge of (yet another) panic attack which happened later in the car. I felt like a drug addict, I knew he was terribly bad for me but I was craving for him with all my body to the point of shaking and having shortness of breath. I mean, how could I not be addicted to my best friend? The one who showed me love with such greatness? The one that was always there to help me heal from my wounds? What I couldn’t see then was, the only reason there were wounds to be healed in the first place its because he was opening them through gaslighting, hoovering, manipulation, and even physical abuse.
We met at the beginning of the fall, I was in a very vulnerable state and what I found in him was someone who really got me, who could really see me deep, and who was there for me. He used to say we were so alike it was like I was the female version of him, a perfect match, the continuation of one another. He spoke to both my inner child and my adult identity. What a prince charming he was!! So I fell for it, disregarded all the (I know now are ) red flags, and fell into the true love kiss tell, but instead of turning into a prince, he turned into a frog and my life into a living nightmare.
“I stopped chasing “Prince Charming” to chase self-love instead. The universe rewarded me with the most loving, kind, husband I could have ever asked for”
Finding healing, self-love, and healthy love.
It wasn’t when he physically hurt me that I gave up, I still felt sorry for him and what he was going through. I think it was when he installed a spy app on my phone that I felt violated and slowly started to remove my “pink glasses” and started seeing things from what they really were. The word abuse didn’t even cross my mind until I started reading the book “Women who love too much” by Robin Norwood. And then I started reading about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and realized how many toxic people I had in my life, a toxic boss, a toxic boyfriend even toxic friends. In one month I quit everything, the relationship, the job, and even my apartment. I moved across town and started my search for self-love, healing, and inner peace. Took me about a year and a half in Therapy to feel like me again, but not the self I was before, a much stronger, aware, capable self. In love with myself, I focused on rebuilding my life, as I started a new job I had the most kind, loving, selfless, and handsome desk neighbor. Fast forward a year and a half and I am now proudly married to the man that I couldn’t even have dreamed of before. Still keeping myself and my boundaries in mind, I now have a real partner, who adds to my life nothing but joy and peace. I finally found and fell for the “Good Guy” and I couldn’t be happier. Together we founded a business to help others in their personal growth by making it simple. You can learn more about it here: www.self-loveshop.com
“No one should have to go through it alone.” Becoming a Coach.
My passion for self-development and coaching started in 2015 after the transformational seminar I joined in London. Since then I’ve been researching, reading, and practicing tools that have helped me in many areas of life. In addition to that, after having gone through an abusive relationship I’ve worked on myself and learned a lot in therapy, still do. I noticed through the years that the more I shared my story and my learnings the more I was helping and inspiring the ones around me, and there is no better feeling to me than to be of service to others. In 2020 I decided to professionalize my skills and started an ICF-accredited certification in Transformational Coaching with Animas School. I want to be the coach and the support I could not find when I was recovering from something that seems no one could really understand. So here I am today, offering you my story and my skills to help you navigate through healing to a safe, peaceful, and joyful destination.
“It is important that you get clear for yourself that your only access to impacting life is action. “Werner Erhard
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Get in Touch
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Mobile: +49 1727 033 099
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